Big Daddy Gouda

I would like to offer my condolences, thoughts and prayers, to Tai and his family.

His grandmother, Christine Keating, lost a brave battle with cancer on Thursday night. She was 76.

She was a wonderful woman, both compassionate and feisty.  She was a woman of deep faith who is surely in a better place now.

May she Rest In Peace.

Ok, it’s been a week since the unfortunate passing of The King of Pop. I’ve held these back long enough:

While responding to a 911 call, EMT’s were dumbfounded upon walking into Michael Jackson’s home and seeing two five year old boys sitting on a block of ice.

“What’s up with that,” the EMT asked Jackson’s bodyguard, to which he responded: “Eh, Mike likes to have a couple of cold ones in the afternoon.”

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What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett?

Nothing

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Why is Michael Jackson white?

Because he’s dead

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In honor of The King of Pop McDonald’s has created The McJackson Burger, composed of 50 year old meat between 8 year old buns.

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Upon her arrival in Heaven God told Farrah Fawcett she had lived a great life and fought bravely until the end. Therefore he was granting her one wish.

“I wish all the children of the world peace and safety,” Fawcett said.

Two hours later Michael Jackson arrived in Heaven.

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Results of the autopsy have revealed that Michael Jackson died from food poisoning.

The night before he died Jackson reportedly ate a 12 year old wiener and 8 year old nuts.

This past weekend, while partying in Boston, a debate broke out about great sports movies. (At least I think it did. Memories after Midnight are spotty at best.)

While we could pretty much all agree on what indeed are “great” sports movies, opinions varied on what was in fact “The Best”.

Here are MY 10 Favorite Sports Movies Of All Time:

10. WE ARE MARSHAL

9. THE ROOKIE (the baseball one with Dennis Quaid, not the Charlie Sheen/Clint Eastwood cop movie and certainly not “Rookie of the Year” with that dork who went on to be UNFUNNY in American Pie.)

8. BULL DURHAM

7. THE NATURAL

6. RUDY

5. CINDERELLA MAN

4. MAJOR LEAGUE

3. FIELD OF DREAMS

2. HOOSIERS

AND, MY ALL TIME FAVORITE SPORTS MOVIE IS……

1. ROCKY

Go Huskies!!!

Can a lack of anything that would be tabbed as “exciting” or “news worthy” qualify as “Strange” as this post would suggest? I dunno. Maybe that’s not the right word, “Strange”, but I don’t feel like changing it now so I’ll simply tell you ’bout my weekend, and you can call it what you want.

I had a sense Friday night, as I sat in the back row of  a Winsted Board of Education meeting (for work mind you. i don’t just hang out at BOE meetings on Friday nights.) that my weekend might not amount to anything.  The meeting was boring and my mind was wandering.

I had the weekend off and no firm plans. Jay and Jamie were  away at a Phish Reunion Show with a bunch of smelly hippies. Brian and Mere were expecting their second born. Cooter, as he has been for almost a year now, was working for the weekend. Tai is in permanent hibernation and I had already taken in a midnight showing of Watchmen (great!) the night before. So yeah, the only thing I really had planned this weekend was NOT to work, and quite honestly, I was fine with that.

I got home from work Friday night around midnight. I was a bit revved up after sitting for 4 hours in that meeting. All I could think about was “education budgets”.

I took a shower. Poured a glass of wine, not my favorite alcoholic beverage in the world, but the only booze in the house, then plopped myself  on the couch in front of the tube.

I woke up on that same couch at 10:30 in the morning, Saturday.

I was looking forward to UCONN vs PITT in an hour and a half, so I decided to get some errands out of the way.  I drove to Walmart to purchase some new headphones for my ipod. While there, I impulsively bought Joe Torre’s “controversail” book, “The Yankee Years”. I really had been meaning to buy it, but I had not planned on it when I went to Walmart Saturday.

On the way home I stopped at Double D for my first iced coffee of the season. I dunno why but I’m always embarrased to order them in the winter months. But it was pushing 60 degrees on Saturday so why not.

I arrived home just in time for the UCONN game…and that’s all I have to say about that….those fuckers!!

After the game I did something I haven’t done in quite a while. I popped on my ipod and went for a walk throughout my neighborhood. I thought a lot on that wallk: About my friends, and wondered what they were doing. I thought about Aidan and how smart he is, and wondered at what age his intelligence will pass mine, if it hasn’t already.  I thought about my father and how in the course of  two years, since retiring, he really has turned into an “old man”. I thought about the summer and things I’m looking forward to, like the baseball season, picnics, warm weather, summer movies, etc.

When I arrived home, for the first time since I purchased it on Tuesday, I actually opened the new U2 cd and popped it in the player. I sat in my recliner with the front door propped open, music turned up and began reading “The Yankee Years”.

It’s fun to get lost in a book sometimes. People who don’t read have no idea what I’m talking about. You others do. Being so passionate about the yankees and having followed them since I was 11 years old, I enjoyed the read more than the just the casual baseball fan. I swear, as I sat there for two hours, breaking only to piss or smoke a cigarette, I really did feel like I was in the Yankee clubhouse. The book brought back great memories of the yankees who defined MY generation: The ‘96 team, the ‘98 team, The Subway World Series, The Aaron Boone Game and The Collapse  in 04. I wasn’t just remembering those years, reading that book I was right there, back in Jamie’s living room, watching Jay spill wine as Boone’s homerun sailed into the left field seats and sent the Yankees to the World Series.

About 250 pages in my eyes got tired so I stopped. I had a bite to eat and laid on the couch. Within 10 minutes I was asleep. Ten minutes later my cell phone was ringing. It was Keely, telling me there would be no “game night” at her and Chuck’s, as he wasn’t feeling well.

And I was fine with that. It was 7 p.m. Saturday and my mind and body told me that today was an alone day for me.

I drove to Stop and Shop and rented a movie out of  REDBOX. The Film was called ‘Henry Poole Was Here’. Luke Wilson stars as a dying man who moves into a house in California to live out his days when suddenly his crazy Mexican neighbor thinks she sees the face of Jesus in the form of a wet spot on the side of Henry’s house. From that point on the movie turns into a lesson if faith. My advice to you all:  Don’t rent this film. It sucked.

The movie ended and I picked up my Yankee book again and began reading. The last thing I read Saturday was about the yankees losing the 2003 world series to the Florida Marlins. The last digits I recall seeing on the clock Saturday night were 3:17 a.m.

Sunday, in fullfilling a promise I made to Aidan many months ago, I took him to see a movie that I can’t believe I saw and would bet all the money in my bank account that I will never EVER see again. And that’s all I have to say about that.

Sunday night was once again spent with the Yankees book and my new U2 cd, which I can’t recomend enough. I also watched bits and pieces of the Back to the Future Trilogy shown on Encore. And now, at 1:30 a.m., here I am on the computer.

So, as you can see, nothing memorable about the weekend. Just a lot of mundane stuff. But I actually enjoyed myself. Everyone needs time to do nothing and that’s pretty much how I spent the past few days.

As for next weekend, with a stag party that I may or may not go to Friday and game night expected to return Saturday, and a new horror flick opening, I’m sure I’ll return to the world of the living….or I may go to Walmart and buy another book.

I had meant to do more of my facebook memories the other night but I truly did have a splitting headache. Tonight I’m going to attempt to bang out a bit more.

ERIC “EROCK” LAMBERT:  You came running up to me at the bar, excited to tell me about the new drink you invented. You pulled out a double shot glass filled with vodka, reached into your pocket, pulled out a percocet pill, dropped it into the glass and chugged it. You dubbed it: The Perc-Bomb!

MICHAEL LAMERE: Myself, Ads and Tai stumbled into an old barn in Bantam where you Clem and Reben had set up makeshift indoor basketball court. The best kept secret in Bantam for a short while.

DONALD LANTHIER: I believe it was six three pointers in a row during a bball game at home your senior year. A few days later in Statistics class I asked you how you did on your test. You turned the paper over, face down and said, “Put it this way, my score is lower than my point total in last weeks game.”

KAREN LEIGH: I met you at the Red Door along with your sister. You told me you were a fan of my Web site. I apologized for it being so vulgar sometimes and you said, “Are you kidding, that’s my favorite part.”

JOSH LIPTON: Driving through Torrington with Waters and others, screaming at T-town’s most prestigious citizens.

RICO LONGORIA: I met you at a picnic at Erin/Aaron’s. You were wearing a Detroit Tigers hat. Me, being the cocky Yankee fan said, “You know by the end of the season you’re going to have to burn that hat.” You kind of just laughed it off. Four months later in the playoffs, Those same Detroit Tigers eliminated the Yankees in four games.

STACY PECK LONGORIA: Listing to you hum the guitar and piano parts during CLOCKS while performing Karaoke at Senor Panchos.

KASEY GILL LUCE:  It was a Friday night. The gang was bouncing around from place to place. We ended up at Ads house and I got my hands on the video camera. I zoomed in and asked you, “Who is your favorite stooge? Larry, Curly, (pause) or Moe.” You turned red, everyone laughed and 14 years later I still remember it.

KATE MANCUSO: You, Jay Maroon and I sat next to each other at a Firework show in Burlington. After a short conversation you said you were surprised that I was a nice guy because you’d always assumed I was a jerk.

JASON “Stahj” MAROON: Senior Year. You had just shaved your head the night before. You sat a few rows in front of me in Psychology class. I pulled back on a rubber band, aimed square for the back of your head and fired. Bullseye! You tensed up and howled, “Owww!” Instantly your shiny head turned bright read where I’d hit you. As you turned around, anger in your eyes, I casually turned to Cooter, who was sitting next to me, clueless. “Dude, he just shaved his head, you shouldn’t of done that,” I said, attempting to show genuine concern for your well being.  Cooter looked at me, confused as hell. “You’re a real dickhead,” you shouted to Cooter, who sat there silently, wondering what the hell he’d just missed.

TINA CARETTA MAROON: Watching you score 35 points in a high school basketball game….wait…I think that was your brother Gabe.

JENNA MARZULLO: We were at a party in Woodbury, talking on the porch. There was strobe light going. “I really shouldn’t be out here,” I said. “I’m an epileptic and these lights could give me a seizure.” Your face was instantly filled with compassion as you volunteered to go inside with me, away from the flashing white lights. I started laughing. “Gotchya!” I said. You smiled but had that, ‘how could someone joke about that’ look on your face. Yes, I’m going to hell.

If some sort of all-knowing being visited me and told me I could have the answers to 10 questions, here is what I would ask it.

1. What happens after you die?

2. Why did all those planes and ships disappear in The Bermuda Triangle?

3. Did OJ Simpson kill Ron and Nicole?

4. Do Aliens exist?

5. If they do, where do they live?

6. The sun is located about 90 million miles away from earth. What is located 90 million miles on the other side of the sun?

7. Why did the dinosaurs go extinct?

8. Are ghosts real?

9. Is there a lochness monster?

10. How will LOST end?