Like all good boys did, I came from Heaven.

I lived with Mom and Dad and Grandparents as well,

Then came my sister, but she came from Hell.

Parents divorced, custody was split.

An un-perfect family but the pieces all fit.

Moved to Litchfield when I turned  10,

Picking a starting point, that’s probably when.

Had a cat name Alvie, black, white and grey,

Had a dog named Crust, till the bus smooshed him away.

Coasted through life till the 10th grade,

Met Adam and Tai and history was made.

 Met a girl and myself I’d embarrass

Felt like a fool when she left me for Paris.

More friends came, life just better,

I felt Alive thanks to Ed Vedder.

Mom left for vacation one December morn,

I threw a party, tradition was born.

Parties every weekend when parents would leave,

All started with mine on New Years Eve.

Beer was good, I liked Brazilian Vodka more

Until I threw up on poor Larry’s floor.

Graduation came I cried like a baby,

Scared of the world, one big fat maybe.

Had a little fling-ding with a girl named Chris,

Why after sex is it strange when you piss?

Had the best birthday ever at age 25,

A bit surprised I made it that far Alive.

Worked at a porn store took too many pills,

Should have listened to REM, thinning blood kills.

Laughing and analgesics gave me all  I could need.

I was braindead, knocked out, numb, not up to speed.

Settled down with a twin and her cute little son,

Didn’t need booze and parties to have a little fun.

Although Friday’s in Hartford were quite the sight

Shot girls and party bands started weekends right.

Marriage and babies, adulthood to blame,

Life was still fun, just not the same.

Not as free but still giving thanks,

For friends and movies and specially the Yanks.

I’m 30-something now, adulthood has come,

A party at Jamie’s and life is still fun.

No longer a life of irresponsibility and booze,

No more delivering pizza, now I cover the news.

Life is not easy but I have no right to complain.

The free and the easy outweigh the pain.

Better days aren’t just behind me -plenty still to come.

A thousand great lives, rolled into one.

I carved out a neat little existence and I finally know how,

What you don’t have you don’t need it now,

What you don’t know you can feel it somehow,

What you don’t have you don’t need it now,

don’t need it now.

Like a thief in the night, and unbeknownst to no one, I moved from my boyhood home on Barton Street to a tiny apartment in the middle of the woods on Brush Hill Road.

Will my family home sell? Doubtful. Will the bank take it? Probably…someday. Bottom line;  I could no longer afford to wait it out. Truth be told I got tired of  waiting.

So, out of curiosity I responded to an ad on craigslist for a small apartment with all utilities (sans cable) included. Three weeks later, here I am, in the woods, typing away, while the Oscars play on the TV to my left and Andy sleeps on the couch behind me.

Bub gave me a couch last weekend. My father and I moved in my desk, TV, and computer on Saturday. Keely and Charlie showed up with some much-needed house warming gifts like a dish rack, sponges, garbage bucket and a bunch of other things that I wouldn’t think to get. My wonderful mother and step-father capped off the move Sunday with a brand new bed, curtains and the best gift of all – a bag of groceries.

So here I am, in the woods, surrounded by nature. I’ve met a few of the neighbors and they seem pretty cool, which is good because I’m sure Andy the puggle will go nuts when he spends his first day alone in the new place tomorrow when I leave him for 10 hours as I venture to work.

I like the place. It’s small but it’s cozy and warm. Truthfully, I don’t miss my boyhood home…yet.

As those who have visited over the past few months can attest, the place was falling apart and emptying my wallet in the process. Pouring diesel fuel into my oil tank at 3 a.m in the freezing cold last month so I wouldn’t run out of heat really was the last straw. I needed to go and, now I’m gone.

I signed a month-to-month lease which in nice. I’m here but if something should go wrong, like Andy’s barking turns the neighborhood against me or something bigger and more affordable comes along (doubtful) I can just go.

But let’s be clear: That’s not my intention. For now this is my home and I’m digging it.

Call me. The light’s on. Lets play cards.

…………………..

here is Andy’s playground.

Every year, for the  7 people who care, I tell you who is going to win Oscars in the top six categories. And, as I do every year, I shoot for 4 outta 6 correct. Mostly I nail it. But, sometimes I don’t.

Just to clarify, these are my PREDICTIONS not really my picks. For instance I PREDICT Sandra Bullock is going to win the Oscar for her (annoying) role in The Blind Side, however, in my book, the award SHOULD go to Carey Mulligan from An Education.

Therefore this year I will give my PREDICTIONS, which count toward the 4 outta 6 and also my picks, whom I think are most deserving.

BEST PICTURE: This year for the first time in 60 years, the Best Pic category has expanded from 5 to 10 nominees. Prolly cuz good movies like The Reader and Frost Nixon were nominated last year while masterpieces like The Dark Knight and Wall-E were left out.

Months ago everyone was saying UP IN THE AIR with George Clooney was the film to beat. Then AVATAR came out and suddenly that was the film of the moment. Then THE HURT LOCKER was named Best Film of the Year by all the smaller award panels. Then INGLORIOUS BASTERDS won the Screen Actors Guild award for best picture. So where does that leave us?

I’m saying HURT LOCKER wins the OSCAR but I think either AVATAR or INGLORIOUS BASTERDS is more deserving of the night’s top award.

BEST DIRECTOR: I say it every year, The Best Picture winner usually follows the Best Director winner. However, this year may be the exception. As I stated, HURT LOCKER should win BEST PIC but I think JAMES CAMERON wins the Directing Award for Avatar, the most stunning thing I’ve ever seen on screen. And he deserves it.

BEST ACTOR:  The Oscar will go to Jeff Bridges for Crazy Heart. I’d sum up the performance as  One third ‘Dude’ from Lebowski, One Third ‘Johnny Cash’ from  Wak The Line and One Third ‘Randy The Ram’ from The Wrestler This is the performance to beat.  Bridges, should win/will win.

BEST ACTRESS: Bullock wins/Mulligan deserves.

SUPPORTING ACTOR: Hands down CHRISTOPH WALTZ from Inglorious Basterds for his role as the flamboyantly sadistic Hans Landa. Not as sure a thing as Heath Ledger was last year for The Dark Knight but pretty darn close.

SUPPORTING ACTRESS: MONIQUE is going to win for her role as  the fat trashy mama from Precious. But I’d like to see Anna “Jessica from Twilight” Kendrick win the award. She gave my favorite supporting actress performance of the year.

So there you have it. MY PREDICTIONS: HURT LOCKER, JAMES CAMERON, JEFF BRIDGES, SANDRA BULLOCK, CHRISTOPH WALTZ AND MONIQUE.

While not nessessarily my favorites in those categories, they are all fairly deserving. Except for Bullock. She was so cheesy in The Blind Side.

“You’re changing that boy’s life”

“No…he’s changin’ mine.” 

BARF.

No LOST post last week for perhaps the first time ever. Sorry about that. Blame the weather.  (see previous story below)

While a great episode in terms of character interaction, “Lighthouse” may have seemed a little dim in its revelations ( Jacob is watching, yeah we knew that and NOTLocke is Claire’s friend, yeah we suspected that), but this week’s  LOST promises to blow the lid off on this whole answers thing. And this time, they mean it.

“Sundown” is a Sayid-centric episode and we’ll be getting into this whole ‘darkside’ thing that the awesome new Other, Dogen warned us about. Is Sayid truly going to go evil on us? How will his sturggles on the Island ‘reflect’ in his flash-sideways.

Reportedly, NOTJohn Locke will show up at the Temple with an ultimatum for everyone inside: leave by sundown or die. Apparently, his mission will involve Sayid. Could it be that Locke is claiming Sayid for himself?

Looking beyond “Sundown,” the purpose of the Island will be revealed. Supposedly it is a four letter word. The answer is obviously: LOST. The island exists so that LOST can exist. yuk yuk yuk

Seriously, expect to learn the real reason the Island exists around midseason, according to the E network.

From the looks of the preview clips for “Sundown,” it would appear that this is not the first time Sayid has visited Nadia in Los Angeles. So how advanced is their relationship and if Sayid is not globe trotting in search of his lost love then just what the heck is he up to?

And where the hell is Faraday?

btw, anyone else predict that Jack’s wife in the sideways timeline is Juliet? It has to be right? Her or…gulp…Ana Lucia.

As I arrived on the outskirts of Waterbury yesterday on my way to work traffic started to back up. Snow was starting to fall hard and people were starting to notice.

I had about 40 minutes left on my drive to work and I hadn’t stopped for coffee as I usually do. However the prospects of a prolonged drive stuck in traffic with no coffee was too much to handle. I flicked on my blinker and prepared to pull off exit 36 in Waterbury.

I pulled off no problem and began coasting down the exit ramp. As soon as the ramp started to twist I lightly tapped the brakes….Nothing. I kept going and if I didn’t know better I’d say I actually picked up speed.

I slammed my foot on the breaks since tapping did no good. Same result. Nothing! The STOP sign at the end of the exit ramp was approaching. At the end of the ramp was Colonial Avenue. A fairly busy Waterubury street that was sure to be littered with morning traffic. If I don’t stop I was most definitely going to pull out into this traffic and then….who knows.

I decided to take my chances with the guard rail rather than the busy road. I turned my wheel to the left and immediately the back-end of the jeep started to fishtail to the right. I was no longer driving the Jeep. It was driving me.

I attempted to straighten the wheel but the Jeep just kept sliding sideways. The front left tire clipped the guardrail and I heard what sounded like a small explosion, then felt the car dip slightly on the left side.  Just as I approached the stop sign, thankfully, the jeep stopped.

It felt like an eternity but the whole ordeal, from the time I pulled off the exit to the time I crashed into the guardrail was about 20-30 seconds, tops.

As I sat on the side of the road, hands shaking, heart pounding, a truck pulled up alongside me.

“Walt!,” the man said, as he pulled up along side me.

I instantly recognized him as Adam Perrin, a close friend of Keely and Charlie.

“I didn’t think you were going to stop,” he said. “Are you alright.”

I nodded YES.

I got out of the Jeep and instantly noticed that my tire had come clear off the rim. That explains the explosion sound.

I got back in the jeep and drove across the intersection, safely, on three tires.  Adam waited with me for a few minutes before I convinced him I was physically fine, just a little shaken up.

I called AAA. They towed my car, and me, to Sears Tire Center. $160 later I had a new tire and it was as if the whole thing was just a bad dream.

But it wasn’t. For a few hours after the incident I felt a tad bit enlightened. Like I had stared death in the face and survived. Little problems seemed insignificant. When I thought of all prior disappointments I just laughed.

By 5 o’clock I was mentally back to normal. Worried about money, longing for a beautiful woman, pissed that I’d have to walk Andy in the rain.

But don’t get me wrong I was thankful. Thankful that LOST would be starting in three hours.

Be careful James Cameron, I’m thinking this girl is just one more Avatar viewing away from shooting you in the back outside the Dakota.

………………

btw, note the Jonas Bros poster in the background

Okay, I’ve been watching my Master, Walt, do this blogging thing for a while so I think I may have the hang of it. Please forgive me if I spell words wrong or write things that don’t make sense. I am, afterall, a dog. I’m writing this using my paws and my snout so bear with me.

Most of you reading this know who I am.  Walt has known me for all of my 28 years. Excuse me, four years to you humans. I know he talks about me, has written about me and shown photos of me.

I came to live with Walt halfway through the 11th month of the year 2009. I’m not sure why exactly. Walt came to visit me at my old home in Morris quite often and then one day, when he left, I left with him.

So far I can’t complain. I no longer have to spend nights in that little black cage. I really didn’t like that. Walt lets me sleep on the bed with him. In the morning when the sun comes up I sometimes walk up and lick his face. It seems wierd to me that he doesn’t get out of bed as soon as the sun shines into the house, like my old masters. It’s actually hours from the time the sun hits to the time he actually crawls out of his big bed. But I try not to disturb him. The longer he spends in that bed each morning, the better mood he’s in for the rest of the day.

Speaking of the day. That is my alone time. Unlike my old masters, Walt leaves the house every morning. It’s kind of lonely here all by myself so I usually just sleep and chew socks. But I can’t complain. He walks me and feeds me a good meal before he leaves and then does the same when he returns at night. I don’t know where he goes all day but as long as he comes back each night, what do I care.

At night is when it’s the most fun for me. Walt is always in a good mood. Sometimes he chases me around the house and tries to take my toys away. If he is watching the box with the moving pictures and I put my head in his lap he always scratches my ears.

The only time I don’t bother him is when he sits in front of this machine and watches the male humans breed with the lady humans. Instead I just lay on the other side of the room and focus on his feet. When his toes curl, I know it’s only about a minute or two before he’ll start paying attention to me again.

Sometimes a big man who kind of looks like an older version of Walt will come and visit. He’s nice to me and brings me treats. He pets me but only when Walt is not looking.

I still think of my old home sometimes. I think I’m starting to forget what my old masters look like. I can remember their smell better than their faces. That may seem odd to you people reading this but that’s just the way it is.

I wonder if sometimes when Walt leaves if he’s going to visit them. I wonder if they ask about me. Maybe they are reading this. If they are, I want you to know I miss you but I’m real happy here and I think this is where I’m supposed to be.

Well, it’s been nice chatting with all of you. According to the way the sun is shinning into the living room I think it’s about time for the mailman to arrive. And if I don’t bark at him then what kind of dog would I be.

I had one of the more enjoyable weekends I’ve had in a while and I did it without having one single sip of booze or listening to some cheesy cover band at a dirty bar.

I took the day off from work Friday so I could do some domestic things at the house, which I still haven’t finished yet. Around noon I got bored and tired so rather than take a nap, I grabbed a Red Bull (sans Vodker) and went to the movies.

I saw Valentines Day!!!

Just kidding. I saw Crazy Heart with Jeff Bridges. It was excellent and I’m sure Jeff Bridges (who already won the Golden Globe and Sag Awards for acting) will walk away with the Oscar. Think of Crazy Heart as a cross between Walk The Line, The Big Lebowski and The Wrestler.

Friday night I tried to watch the Opening Ceremony of  the Winter Olympics but god damn those shows are boring. ZZZZZZZZZZZ

As most of you know from my juvenile Facebook status updates, Ashlie and I went out together for Valentines Day. It wasn’t a date – really it wasn’t. We split the cost of a sushi dinner, she left the tip, I paid for the movie tickets and she bought the popcorn and soda.

We saw the Wolfman starring Benicio Del Toro, Anthony Hopkins and Agent Smith from the The Matrix.

I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. The acting was a bit cheesy but it is a movie about werewolves in England so I expected that. The special effects were above average and I love that they didn’t make the wolfman CGI. It was actually Benicio Del Toro in make-up.

And, for you geeks out there, the make-up was done by Rick Baker who worked on the werewolf in the horror/comedy An American Werewolf in London and was also responsible for the werewolf in Michael Jackson’s legendary Thriller video.

Sunday morning after leaving Ashlie’s I went to visit Aidan and Grayson and bestow upon them a box of munchkin donuts, a bag of pretzels and some skittles. It was Valentines Day afterall.

What un unexpected surprise when I arrived at Aidan’s and he had downloaded Super Mario Bros 2 & 3 on the Wii. I don’t know what it is but those games actually seem harder now. When I was in Middle School I think I had a much easier time beating them. Now, at 32, I found myself dying simply by falling in a hole I was attempting to jump over.  I’ve always loved that when Mario falls down a hole, before he disappears off the screen he stops in midair, scrunches up into a little ball, cue the music to let you know you fucked up, then he proceeds to fall. So dramatic.

After imposing on Keely’s family and staying for a roast pork dinner I went home to walk the dog and then collapse in front of the tube as the weekend came to a close.

I found myself watching some show on CBS called Undercover Boss about CEOs of major companies that go undercover and mingle with their workforce to see what is really going on. I’ll prolly never watch again. Last night’s episode featured the big boss at Hooters. He spent a week at various Hooters establishments across America to see what his workers had to deal with in one of the country’s most popular strip clubs, I mean restaurants.

And what did he come away with after spending a week on the ground floor? His big epiphany at the end of the show is that Hooters doesn’t necessarily portray woman in the brightest light and the business needs to become more family oriented.

Folks, if you own stock in Hooters, sell it now.